Very British Christmas, A: Twelve Days of Discomfort and Joy 
Imagine if all your Christmases did actually come at once. That idiom is supposed to evoke an image of delight, happiness and nothing going wrong, but the British Christmas doesn't always turn out that way.
Yes, sometimes all the gifts are perfect, everyone's on great form and no one chokes on a mince pie. But on other occasions you'll fall through a glass cabinet or set your cardigan on fire.
A Very British Christmas pays tribute to all the peculiar ways we choose to celebrate; it tells stories of our propensity to behave badly, our uselessness under pressure and our unquenchable joie de vivre. Join us as we salute cultural icons, dissect national customs and hear from people who've eaten all the turkey and lived to tell the tale.
Tidings of discomfort, tidings of joy.
AUTHOR: Rhodri Marsden is a writer and musician based in London. A columnist for The Independent for more than a decade, he writes features, books and opinion pieces about subjects as varied as bad dates, rude place names, USB cables, crumpets, perfume and anxiety. He plays in hardy perennial post-punk band Scritti Politti and Britain's best-loved TV theme covers band Dream Themes, and he won the under-10 piano category at the 1980 Watford Music Festival with a scintillating performance of a piece called Silver Trumpets .